So after the really horrendous theme song (inexcusable), we continue on to see –
you know what? Let’s talk about the theme song first.
One simple sentence: ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?
For one thing, the only Star Trek theme to have lyrics is the TOS theme. Oh, didn’t know that? Wanna know why? No, you don’t but you can read all about it. Wanna know why you’ve never heard them before? They were stupid, that’s why.
Wanna know something about Enterprise? It has stupid lyrics too. Why? I haven’t seen a good answer yet. I don’t know of anyone who enjoys them, either.
Meanwhile on Vulcan:
Admiral Maxwell Forrest’s personal log: I’ve arrived on Vulcan hopeful that the High Command is finally ready to conduct joint missions with Starfleet.
Not taking that bet, probably because of what I know is about to happen.
Okay, so basically the High Command isn’t telling anyone what is going on in their discussions. Blah blah blah, humans are unique, blah blah blah “of all the species we’ve made contact with, yours is the only one we can’t define.” WE GET IT. This tune is getting old, lemme tell you. This show was supposed to be about how Humanity is made better by meeting aliens, and instead… well… we barely recognize those aliens we’re supposed to be saved by. We grew up with these guys. Their whole culture isn’t what we recognize from Spock, from Tuvok. And they don’t have time to change because their lifespans are freaking long.
“You have the arrogance of Andorians and the stubborn pride of Tellarites. One moment you’re as driven by your emotions as Klingons, and the next you confound us by suddenly embracing logic.”
WE GET IT.
And I’m tired of it. We didn’t survive Season 3, and the abysmal Season 4 opener, just to be put through this crap.
Admiral Forrest finally gets Soval to admit that Vulcans are afraid of Humans because the Humans are a little too much like the Vulcans. Dude sounds like Q.
So it seems like this conversation is rapidly approaching geniality when the explosions start. Forrest tackles Soval to the ground as the pillar behind him collapses. An external shot shows that the damage is devastating.
Archer is in the middle of a basketball game, of all things, with Travis (and can we give Anthony Montgomery props for a consistently decent performance despite being one of the most under-utilized characters on TV… ever?), Trip, Malcolm, and Hoshi. Oh, and Phlox, who is a surprisingly good shot from standing perfectly still.
Anyway, T’Pol is the one who has to deliver the bad news.
Captain’s starlog, supplemental. Enterprise has arrives at Vulcan as ordered. Three days after the bombing of Earth’s embassy, the death toll stands at 43, and I have lost my friend, Admiral Forrest. Vulcan authorities still have no lead on who’s responsible.
It’s too much. They just got over this Xindi thing… I feel like we know about too much, these days. It’s too much.
Archer doesn’t let T’Pol go to visit her family. Her mother isn’t answering the phone and she doesn’t feel the need to talk to Koss because obviously there’s no love there. Administrator V’Las arrives and exposition reveals that he is the head of the High Command. Soval is there as well. They also bring Stel, who is charge of the investigation and announces that they have suspects.
It turns out that these suspects are the Andorians, who are attacking the embassy to create conflict between Earth and Vulcan. Archer isn’t buying it. The other suspect is a group of Vulcans called Syrranites. T’Pol explains that this particular group follows a “corrupted form of Surak’s teachings.” Now we’re getting somewhere. And we’ve also got a date for Surak – 1800 years ago, give or take. The Syrranites oppose the government and their leader – creatively named Syrran – is described as a zealot. V’Las tells Archer that the Syrranites may have committed other acts of violence against non-Vulcans. They have preserved the site of the bombing for Enterprise to investigate, since it’s Earth soil, being an Embassy and all. So nice they’ve learned to share.
Travis and Malcolm are seen combing through the wreckage, in the next scene. Travis finds an unexploded bomb. Actually, back that up.
Travis finds a power reading in the formerly sealed site of a terrorist attack and alerts Malcolm the security officer to the reading. Malcolm brushes it off as an emergency light, and Travis goes digging for it, lifting the panel off of it, at which point he tells Malcolm again and the first thing Malcolm says is “don’t move. The slightest vibration could set it off.”
Holy crap. And I thought Tuvok was a crap security officer. Like, I’m sorry, I’ve seen this movie. It had that Kyle Whatever guy in it. And he got blown up. Because the bombers LEFT A FREAKING BOMB BEHIND. You guys watch movies every 3 seconds on this show! What the actual heck, Malcolm!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!
So Malcolm arranges for beamout just in case and then announces that he’s going to try to scan it, but if he had designed that bomb, he would have programmed it to go off the second someone tried to scan it so… “if it detonates, we’ll never know.”
The actual crap, Malcolm.
By the way, the thing Travis is holding weighs like a billion pounds.
Oh, and the scan doesn’t set it off.
And there’s Vulcan DNA on the controls.
The bomb starts beeping so Malcolm has them beamed out of there.
Oh, and here’s where it gets awkward, because according to Phlox, T’Pau set the bomb. Remember T’Pau? Here. I’ll refresh your memory. That lady.
Oh, we’re in a whole new territory now, friends.
Up until this moment, there was no overlap with TOS. Sure, there was Duras, but not the one we know. There was the episode about Klingon trials, but of course they weren’t the Klingons we needed to see. Every once in a while, something would approach hitting the right spot, but not quite.
Manny’s setting up a revolution. Literally.
T’Pau is known to us as a person of power. But she’s clearly not in power yet.
Stel identifies T’Pau as a Syrranite and OH BOY are we going somewhere fast. Stel wants to take over the investigation, since T’Pau is Vulcan, and refuses to let Malcolm or T’Pol help him. He promises to tell Soval if there’s anything Archer should know.
Archer visits the cargo bay, where 31 coffins are waiting. Somehow he knows which is Forrest (They don’t have any visible writing. No idea.) That’s where Soval finds Archer, and tells him that Forrest saved his life in the explosion, at the cost of his own. That Forrest was excited about the joint missions that they were discussing at the beginning of the episode. “We have to make that possible,” says Archer, “despite the High Command.”
Soval doesn’t believe that the Syrranites were responsible for the attack. He tells Archer to question everything, and that “the answers you need are on Vulcan. And however far you have to take this investigation, you have my support.”
Koss comes to see T’Pol. She is quite cold to him – colder than normal. Jolene is usually very good at speaking volumes with her eyes, and the body language is pretty clear that she wants him to go away. He had sent her a cryptic message, because the Syrranite threat is apparently so severe that the government is spying on its citizens’ communications. Then he gives her a box, and says it’s from her mother. Some kind of heirloom. Then he tells her that her mother is in hiding to avoid being arrested and nobody bothered to mention this to T’Pol. Because her mom is a Syrranite.